Muslims love a martyr, and America loves to share

It’s a marriage made in heaven. Muslims love a good martyr, as they are so willing to show and the United States of America is one the most sharing nations on Earth.

Muslims are now turning small mentally challenged children to bomb targets in Syria which shows just how much these vermin love martyrs. So, the Conservative Collective believes there ought to be an accord. The United States has acres and tons of old munitions such as napalm, being held in depots all over the world. We have flamethrowers that ISIS would just LOVE, cluster bomb units that can create dozens of Muslim martyrs simultaneously, and huge bombs called “daisy cutters” that can make martyrs and soccer fields at the same time!

Since the folks in ISIS have now shown a proclivity for burning human beings alive, we think the time has come to make as many flaming ISIS martyrs as possible, while at the same time disposing of our old napalm stores. In fact, we believe that the United States should also offer ISIS free shipping! That’s how helpful the Conservative Collective thinks we should be. We must do whatever we can to create as many ISIS martyrs as is humanely possible using fire.


The Conservative Collective is way ahead of the martyr curve and with America being the giving nation it is, we think it is time to demonstrate to the world what comprises real “American sharing”. We could start with sharing tons of napalm with every ISIS forward unit in every town, everywhere across Syria. Once Iraq sees how well America shares, that nation will want to show us where their terrorist friends hide so we can share our cluster bombs and “daisy cutters” with them.

America still has many old flamethrowers in stock, and this would be the time to issue “zippos” to our special forces so that when we drop them into Syria and Iraq, they too can share American-made fire with ISIS, but in an intimate, more personal way. Imagine the joy in the ISIS organization¬† as martyr-after-martyr met Allah, courtesy of the American taxpayer.¬†napalm2

Not to be left out,our air fuel munitions would be the perfect solution for those members of ISIS that are sensitive to the possibility of melanoma and prefer to remain in caves and underground bunkers. Using our incredible air fuel technology, America could share thermobaric fire with ISIS, create many martyrs, and leave the medical sensitivity to sunlight totally undisturbed.


So, this plan is a win for everyone. Muslims get their martyrs, the environment is kept cleaner and American warehouses that once held old munitions could be re-tasked to house the homeless.

Unfortunately, Barry does not share this enthusiastic vision with the Conservative Collective. But, with the 2016 presidential elections being so close and American voters waking up to the fact that Barry is himself a puppet of Islam, it should not be long before we have a president with courage and integrity in the Oval Office.

Remember what our parents said…”It’s nice to share.” The¬† Conservative Collective wholeheartedly agrees.